the struggle of man...

some poetry(?)

some communication with history


what if i wrote a suicide note?  wat if ...

what is wrong with this question?  what is your answer?
ya.
maybe a private life?
being high.?

communication...
language....

people are different.  how?  ..genetics.  environment.(?)>


man...  life?  consciousness?  [easy ]






si bueno

socca.  muscles, scar tissue.  socialism.  illeagal * illegal* immigration.  religion(burqa wearing- i think i might like to wear one sometimes. the benefits=for certain occasions, or in general(?))....

 thomas sowell.          .

 economics, dat female(<you>)...  biology..(fuck(!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!) and die).  no meaning/purpose..  politics-lol.  i kinda like football.  . .
(<me?>)  the sun, clouds, that bird of prey gunston.  make money and cry for it.
cannabis no more(.....?)
other fem.s?
let's see. . .                                                .

gossip girl sucs.  ....  mayb not if ur young..  girls..females..  pair bonding..  college again..

making a life.    .     .

more questions. less answers.  cannabis again involved.  went to asian kitchen.  cool fish, attractive old asian woman.  akward conversations.  moran.  sexuality.  construction of reality.  instinct + natural actions. . . obviously.  live forever?  longer?  how long?  atheism.  height.  leven...  lou?  havnt even talked about tobias. . .  europe?  austria?  the world?  other intelligent"" organisms?  bigger brains?  unified morality..treyvon and zimmer?  boobs?  hip ratio?  gotta know more about sexuality(neuroscience).  been a while.  moth photo.. pp hehe.  laughing?^<  satisfaction?

cannabis over break slowed me down considerably.  did pretty poorly on bio test.  felt tired.  other factors/variables.  again, words seem inadequate.  move or die.  no [time for] cannabis.  chem u annoying me, bother, henpeck, gall

the written word is too easily misinterpreted.  writing is ambiguous.  context is everything- derrida.  thinking of staying off cannabis for a while.  school and career on my mind.

weed is good when you are good

feb 14- now 15

looked back at previous posts.  i have learned more.  still not making much comfortable sense of things.  i wonder if that will ever change.
IT 103 paper had some errors.  i should check over my papers in college.  or maybe not.  i have written more now since that paper. right? maybe..
my question is why should i care about my college grades?  i've come to the conclusion that it is time that i want to piece things together.  that and money to feel safe.  what about the people around me?  i must control that too- to some extent.
mother and father:
i dont trust them.  they want to give me advice(whatever that means - and this is an honest question i have) but they have all of their own problems.  as i heard once, the respect of our coaches is important when trying to figure out the game(something like tht)
chemistry teacher, bio teacher first semester.  do they understand things?  is there something to be desired understandable at all?  is it just safety and comfort that an animal craves?  do humans differ?  i also have some problems with the people of my past.  the things they told me.  but is there annoyance to be had with them?  how should i react to such actions?  what should guide this thinking?  evolution?  if so, then what?  should humanity aim for peaceful, happy people?  i think we have been (in some percentage) for our species lifespan.  survivors and jizzers.  what makes a human successful?  intelligence?  eagerness to be safe?  stress response immune response?  testoterone levels?  agression?  modulated aggression?  modulated brains...    i hear nothing from the people around me.  they laugh.  i dont believe them.
i read that to be a writer it is simple.  u simply must bleed at the "typewriter"(-think thats it).

smoked and locked self out tonight.  valentines day.  BBT.  enya.  dank. soccer.

jan 15 2013

witnessed rippling water before it I could feel rain.  Was at GB and noticed in hideout creek.  could've been bugs that i looked for and didnt see.  the high pitched voices coming from the entrance to CCH.  the bike i borrowed.  the dogs I saw, the women I saw.  the ivy..  the smoking and yelling and argument.  the perceptions.  Gladiator.