i dont know so much.  i recognize faults in my past post writings.

god bless america.  god bless.... obama.  how long will it take?  religion is what divides us.

Lost a hardrive that had a good doc. i would have liked to share on this site.  It was basically other journal stuff.  Im here at school and think others around me are ignorants.  (<related)  Ive learned about how much sleep can affect mood.  A thought related to the being surrounded by ignorants is the detrimental effects of being around people you don't like.  In a good mood it doesnt matter as much.  How much?... neuroscience.  Genetics on our personalities.  People need to know this stuff.    ...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow i really beleive that.  education is very important.  I cant experience new things wen I have to nail a diagnosis of seeming studpidity everytime I interact with someone.  There is no good reason to beleive you have a soul everybody.  YOu believe it because your social group does, and that may make you happy, but it does not work with others.  Havent u ever learned to do good to your neighbor?  Good and evil.....  stupid concepts....   I hate(<word first used and then thought about "hate is such a bad word") religious people.  Hate...googleing..  it does indeed(<another funny word imo)  seem rather violent.  wow, language is another one of those things...  strange, interesting, im sure amazing and beautiful.  Just those words themselves carry so much.  Carry so much.  words...  expressing oneself is a difficult task, undertaking, duty, challenge, difficulty.  And we dislike and judge people on their usage.  knowledge.  learning.  education.  fuck you.  fuck me?  ya.  people can be assholes, I see why people kill people.  Change the world, kill stupid, annoying, ignorant people, there will be less of them. also mean, rude, or inconsiderate.  These traits must be consistently exhibited and documentation will be required.  Of course people can change, and so this statement is too much to take seriously.  Thoughts need to be explored, not stressed out of existence.  religious people...  life man.  its here.  but its also not what you think.  and also exactly what you think.  we just machines tryin to fuck and survive.  but we have emotions.  roads, channels, paths, networks, avenues,



soryr for spelling errors.  I noticed sometimes meaning changes if only one letter changes.  Everything changes nearly infinitesimally every milisecond.  FUCK.  get money.  get safe.  get rid of extreme ignorance and religion.

o ya.  I forgot to mention Im smoking again, against all that I believed previously.  One fact that keeps me on this side is that the brain seems to adapt to the bad stuff that cannabis does to your brain

nov. 7:  smoking sometimes.  rate is unknown to me.  hippocompal messing up.  i think whatever i get out of canna is worth the spread out negative effects.  cant know with any real depth without great(relative) neuroscientific understanding.

haven't looked at this in a while.  Learned a few things during that time.  Beginning to accept my new found scientific opinions.  Going deeper into me now; I questioned sexuality and that got me thinking about the game humans play.  I was high driving around my neighborhood and seemed convinced I had uncovered a deep truth.  Evolution, genes, competition.  This got me thinking about my own genetic endowment.  I have even said this to my family and some friends;  (friend is now and (i can remember telling someone who some may call a friend)-WAS a sort of strange word for me to use.  I think this is because a lack of feeling a deep connection) I believe I have superior traits to many in important areas.  I have sort of been coming to terms with this thought( I am still wary of using the word realization) throughout my recent absence from this blog- and is a large part of what I am "thinking" about.  Do other people see this?  I have a theory that you can only see as far as your eyes will let you.  That is a metaphor for your genetic endowment and your views on the world and more universely,... the universe(lol). well apparently that isn't a word.  I do have some evidence for these ideas.  I have excelled at soccer and got a 1390 on my SATs while not having studied for classes nearly at all.  My writing score was poor compared to reading and math.  I usually cheated or copied on those assignments in school...

I do have a complaint about those writing prompts.  I feel like writing is a close cousin to speaking.  The way you are tested is not right IMO.  controversial topics you may have little knowledge about and you can't tell the truth about your ignorance.  You are encouraged to lie.  Even in the sake of writing for an SAT this shouldn't be a skill of a student(again IMO).  That is unless you are training to be a lawyer.  I've heard bad things about lawyers (especially from conservative radio talk show hosts) that these are not honorable professions.  This comes back to my philosophy on the world.  Does it really matter?  What sort of moral life are we living when we compete and kill(at least emotionally) for resources?  Again, science can bring the human race out of this depression through various means.  Genes, education- there are too many people on this planet.  Where are we going?   How long will the earth last?  Should I care?  I don't hear the questions I want to discuss in the chatter of the people I have conversed with.  When I do lead them(another view of mine that I can guide conversation through sheer dominance of communication- not fully consciously though.  This may have a simple explanation that I don't care about the other stuff people say.) they seem to be dogmatic.  I think this could be a deficit on their realization of communcation codes of conduct.  Most people really don't seem to
listen very well.  This all goes back to evolution and genes.  I wonder if there are others with my snobbish views and if there are, how would I interact with them?  Should I seek them out or be afraid of what their power's affect has on me? How should I choose to love? That question is a bit mangled though(about love).  Where does Sex really fit in the scheme of things?  How has the culture I grew up in shifted my views?  Do I believe them to be the best?  Should I?

OK, enough for now.  I wonder who will find this first.  I hope someone leaves me with something to think about.  I think I like to think...

cannabis reform fix

I am susceptible to exaggeration.  You must at least assess the risks and be very careful when attempting to use cannabis.  There is a culture behind the drug and all aspects of psychological influence should be evaluated.  Cannabis may make you crazy simply because other people do not like it for whatever reason.  Social interaction( nurture) undeniably has a strong relationship with our mental health.  However, I do believe the direct physiological influence cannabis has on the brain is detrimental, at least slightly.  If you are more interested in being a pothead( note this term as an example as a label to the image of a cannabis user.  "stoner" is another one) aka happy dopamine flowing individual, than putting 100% effort towards something, than that is your decision.   Cannabis has been reliably shown to induce short term memory and cognitive deficits, and these are not beneficial to any real devoted training regimen of any kind.  Personally, I feel the deficit stays for at least a week or more(several weeks) and I've heard others speak of "cloudiness" for this duration as a result of cannabis use.  Perhaps some day a culture will exist where cannabis use is not so demonized and psychological effects stemming from social norm violation or general disapproval will not be so prominent.  I would say most people of an educated background see the lack of open-mindedness in many of the current population's views.  This lack is coupled with bias and discriminatory views that are hurtful to the lives of others because they are stressful.  As I stated at an earlier date in this blog, science is the way to destroy this.  The truth lies with science, and data cannot be ignored, whatever your philosophical standpoint.  There is no denying what scientific research has proven about human biology and other topics.  If not absolute theory, than 99.99(u know the idea) association, which is the best evidence one can have about believing something.

If you are well versed in philosophical abstraction and/or other topics concerning the validity of science and have opposing knowledge that would guide my thinking better, please post me back; but from what I have seen/read (which is relatively little), there does not seem to be any fallacy.  

cannabis reform

dont smoke it.  it will make you different and your desires will change.  Science needs more research on the effects on academics and sports.  The effects are far more noticeable when going hard in the paint( effort is maximized).  Cannabis is simply a poor influence on human endeavors.

some much

Looks like this is going to be very hard.  Do we all have active brains while high(or coming down)?  Why does it seem like I can't turn off my thoughts?  not really a bad feeling...

last words

got scared about suicide upon thinking about my title.  One of the topics I hope to cover in my journal.  Which I have realized this mainly is...
can you figure that out?


grammar

^^
try to understand

^^^
but with touches like these it seems I am still open to people viewing all of my mental utterences

dont know what this is about^.  Probably something to do with feeling scared about talking about suicide.

aite dawgs

I'm sorry if you disagree with my language; it was part of my culture growing up in the suburbs outside DC.(<--)Had to google if posting my location is a bad idea.  My new value is the world is changing to more a peaceful place, those worries are outdated.  Let me hope so...(especially with my chosen career path).  All of this is coming at you all a little bit dopaminafied**don't think that's a word**  as a result of recent cannabis inhalation.  Yes, I inhaled...what's up with president's saying that?(politicians as well).

let's see how my next thoughts go  
there's more to come